Black, complete black. I opened my eyes slowly and took in my surroundings. A total stranger was sitting by me in a pair of bright turqoise scrubs. To his left there was a girl in a long green skirt. I blinked several times. It was the girl. My girl! My chest tightened and my breath quickened. I heard a strange sound come from her. Clear rivers of saltwater tumbled from her brown eyes. I tried to move to comfort her, but realized couldn't. Lead was spread throughout my limbs and I couldn't move. I was strapped down to what felt like a table but I couldn't be sure. A table? Where am I? That's when I heard it. Sirens. Coming from where? I wondered. The terrible sound rang in my ears, mixed with my girl's crying.
Then bang! It hit me. I'm in an ambulance! I yelled silently. Uno sent me to the hospital! I heard another wail coming from behind me. Oh God. I thought. Uno's brother is in the other ambulance! What have I done? I moaned. My girl looked up from her crying and saw me, eyes open and groaning. She unclipped her seatbelt and dropped to her knees next to me. Her brown eyes searched mine desparately. "Chico? Tu estas no bueno. Sueno." she said. I smiled. What the heck did she just say? I wondered. She brushed my hair back from my face. Her fingers barely touched my cheek. The pain registered immediately. The pain! Oh God the pain! I grimaced and tried not to yell. She pulled back her hand immediately when she felt me tense. "Tu duele mucho. Lo siento." She climbed back into her seat and talked to the paramedic. He came over with something behind his back. He rolled up my sleeve and I felt a sharp prick. Suddenly the world faded to black and turquoise. The siren wailing stopped.
I felt myself being lift up, but I couldn't react. I felt like I was floating. Which I was for all I cared. I heard low mumbling and commands. "Can someone please bring me the sutures?" I heard an american doctor say. Sutures! How bad am I? I wondered. I felt the doctors cool hand, but not the needle that pierced my skin over and over again. I felt myself being lifted again and brought to a soft bed. The pillows felt like air on my cheeks. I succumbed to my need to sleep. I awoke a couple days later.
You are such an amazing writer! This sounded like it should have been in the book. I loved how you used Spanish in the conversations, however my favorite line was "Clear rivers of saltwater tumbled from her brown eyes". That was a really good piece of writing.
ReplyDeleteI like how you talked about the pain, and how you said that the girl was yours. Very descriptive.
ReplyDeletei have not read this book but i liked how your put a lot of descriptive words and that you made your story very interesting :D
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