http://margaretnoble.net/blog/choral_top/
A slow moan echoed through the room. Like a ghost from the ether. Crying for its past life and groaning at its future. It hummed as it walked among the fog between the earth and the netherworld. A sigh escaped its lips as it watched the beings living on the earth. Wishing it could join in on the fun yet again. As it travelled back to the ether, it pulled out a small violin. It placed the bow on the strings and played an eerie song. His master, Death, gladly accepted the ghostly creature in its tendrils of darkness once again. It continued to play as it entered the netherworld. It was a song that penetrated the heart with cold gloom. It came with a shock of beauty and solemness. But within the solemness, was a shockingly dark allure. This is the sound that pulls at the heart when Death seduces you with the kiss of death. It is a kiss that is never forgotten time and time again. This sound is the sound of death in a colorful spin.
A slow moan echoed through the room. Like a ghost from the ether. Crying for its past life and groaning at its future. It hummed as it walked among the fog between the earth and the netherworld. A sigh escaped its lips as it watched the beings living on the earth. Wishing it could join in on the fun yet again. As it travelled back to the ether, it pulled out a small violin. It placed the bow on the strings and played an eerie song. His master, Death, gladly accepted the ghostly creature in its tendrils of darkness once again. It continued to play as it entered the netherworld. It was a song that penetrated the heart with cold gloom. It came with a shock of beauty and solemness. But within the solemness, was a shockingly dark allure. This is the sound that pulls at the heart when Death seduces you with the kiss of death. It is a kiss that is never forgotten time and time again. This sound is the sound of death in a colorful spin.
1) Which part of their description captured you and why?
ReplyDeleteThe part that most captured my attention is the sentence where you said that "This is the sound that pulls at the heart when Death seduces you with the kiss of death." and overall your whole paragraph captured my attention. The reason for that is because the way that I thought it sound wasn't like that and it was interesting to see somebody else’s point of view.
2) How did they describe their sound (what writing tools did they use?)
A writing tool that you used is similes. For example how you said "Like a ghost from the ether." You also showed not tell, and that was really good because it made me want to keep on reading, and wondering what that sound was.
3) What could they have done to bring their sound more to life in their writing?
Maybe a little bit more descriptive. Like add more similes and metaphors and stuff like that. But I think over all it was a really strong piece.